Clayton Quotes

Clayton on pregnancy and labor: 'Baby brother is getting bigger and bigger and bigger, bigger and bigger. Yay, he's getting bigger, bigger, bigger and bigger, bigger.' I asked him what would happen next and he said, 'He gonna hatch out your belly egg.'

Making Mush

While I attacked the endless bag of paperwork to be shredded, Clay played with our newest batch of play dough. The noisy shredder was a constant distraction. Then when he saw the bag of shredded paper his dinosaurs had to jump in and out of it making a trail of paper shreds on the floor. Suddenly, I had an idea! We could take this play outside, add water to the paper and make mush for the dinosaurs to play in. (I was having flashbacks to making paper pulp for homemade paper.) Brilliant! Now here is what really happened: We took two buckets out to the front lawn with shredded paper and dinosaurs. I turned on the hose and he had already dumped the paper on the lawn. I rescued as many shreds as I could back into the buckets and added water. He proceeded to rescue the dinosaurs from the paper shreds, spreading more onto the lawn. The paper never broke down, mush was never created. However, Clayton was heavily involved with 'busy play'. I grabbed a chair and read the mail while he put dinosaurs in and out of the buckets, poured the water/paper mixture from one bucket to the other and paused momentarily to remove paper from his toes. I love 'busy play'. I describe it as play that uses active thinking, purpose and concentration even if as adults we can not identity the why or what of the play. When I taught preschool some of the best moments was looking out onto the play yard and seeing groups of children's involved in this busy play. My idea of making mush may of backfired, and still needs to cleaned up off the grass, but his play was wonderful!

A Mother's Confession

I must confess, I was stressed today. Not at you, my child, but outside things that should not affect you. I was stressed and tired. I only half heard you talking. I was only half listening and slow to respond to you. It was then I realized I am going to fail you in ways I did not expect to. I have never strived to be a super mom and in fact I try to pride myself on being only human. But as I took stock of my exhaustion and looked into my little one's eyes trying to engage me I got a reality dose of what it is to be only human. As a mom you know that there are things you are going to stumble through and possibly still not get right, you expect that. Today it was the little things that I enjoy so much like listening to my son and playing with him that I did not expect to fail at. It does not make me a failure as a mother, but it is a warning of the transitions ahead with our expanding family and the physical limits of being human. So son, I may not hear you every time, or answer you right away, or be able to stop what I am doing to talk with you but I will always love you with every ounce of my being. The love that I have for you and your future siblings is what will always keep me striving to be the best that I can be for you.

Mud, Mud, Wonderful Mud

Pregnancy has gifted me many wonderful things. Not the least of which is the absence of my brain and memory. The other day I was watering the plantings out of reach of the drip system and forgot to turn off the hose. It ran all night and left quite a puddle by the garlic and newly planted tomato seedlings. Clay and I went out the next morning and he found the mud first. It was an irresistible muck of mud. He happily played all morning in it. I may need to dedicate a corner of the garden to mud.

Because It's Necessary

Today Clayton took off his diaper and went into the bathroom only to take off most of the animal stickers on his potty board and decorate his naked body. He then proceeded to his bedroom with his belly covered with stickers and a large lion sticker on his butt to take them off and put them on his bed sheet. I can only assume that he did this, because it was necessary. Moments like these are perhaps my favorite. I watch him baffled and amused as he does some of the most bewildering activities because it's necessary.

Cherry Picking

Riverdance Organic Farms in Livingston

Graduation

Last week I finished something I started 15 years ago. I graduated from Junior College. I am well aware that AA degrees do not hold much value nowadays, but I finished it. It feels great to have it completed, to be able to check the box next to 'Completed College' instead of wishing there were a box for 'Some College Completed' or 'Lots of Units-no degree'. I believe it will also show my children that education was important enough to their parents to make completing the degree a priority. As for the actual ceremony, I sat in the mist of the graduating class with my full pregnant belly staring up at my husband, son, father, his wife, father in law, mother in law and two of my sister in laws cheering me on from the top of the bleachers. I am the first in my family to complete a degree. It was a great feeling to see my Dad beaming the entire time. My SILs reported back to me that everytime a graduating name was announced Clay would cheer, "Yay for Mommy!" I was also proud to have graduated with honors. I owe a great deal of this accomplishment to my husband. He encouraged me to return to school on a full time basis while we were still dating and continued to support my decision once we were married. I was working in retail management when we met. I liked my job and was successful at it. He said I should love my job and he was right. I stepped down from my job and returned to school for Early Childhood Education. I loved learning and my classes. I earned A's in all but statistics. This raised my GPA from a 1.6 to a 3.8. (Yikes, right!) When my schooling stalled all those years ago I had been working 2-3 jobs to pay for it and my modest living expenses. I worked two jobs that ran from 4pm to 7am the next morning. I fell asleep in most of my classes and sometimes during the third job which was Wednesdays from 10am-12pm. I was not getting anywhere and finally waved a white flag until my DH's encouragement. Now the plan is to transfer to a UC and enter into to a ECE provider program where I will go to school one night a week for two years straight in order to complete the necessary degree work and one full semester of general ed for my BA in Child Development. A professor once told me that it takes more than smarts to earn a degree, it takes tenacity. It may take another 15 years to complete with raising children and expenses, but still worth it. If I believe that education is important for my children then it better be important to me too!